Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Whatsapp and Facebook Jokes in Hindi and English






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 http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/01/top-50-breakup-whatsapp-status-in.html

Whatsapp And Facebook Jokes In English

Santa: 14th February ko kya hai ?
Banta: Tere paas biwi hai ya girlfriend?
Santa: Biwi.
Banta: To phir Mahaveer Jayanti hai. ЁЯШЫ ЁЯШЫ ЁЯШЫ
Height of WHATSAPP forwards ..!!
юМи: Sardaar ko uska Sasur joote mar raha thaтАжюАЗюАЗ
Ek Aadmi: Kyun maar rahe ho is koтАж???
Sasur: Maine isko hospital se whatsapp kiya ki 'Tum Baap Ban Gye HoтАж'
Saale ne usko  bhi 50 doston ko forward kar diyaтАж
юРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРЙюРТюРТюРТюРТюРТюРТюРТюРХюРХюРХюРХюРХюРХюРХюРХюРХюРХя┐╜я┐╜я┐╜я┐╜я┐╜я┐╜я┐╜я┐╜
http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/01/happy-holi-whatsapp-status-and-images.html
Ek jagah par gaadi ki neelami ho rahi thi
10 Lakh
15 Lakh!
20 Lakh!
Santa ne gaadi ki taraf dekha, aur socha yeh gaadi to itni tooti footi haalat mein haiтАж phir bhi!!
Usse raha nahin gaya, aur Banta ke paas jaker bola
Santa: Yeh puraani tooti footi car ki itni keemat kyun laga rahe hain yeh log, aisi kya khoobi hai iss car mein?
Banta: Arey Paaji, maine suna hai, jo bhi iss gaadi ko khareedta hai uski Biwi ka accident ho jata hai!!
Santa: 50 Lakh!!
After his Divorce a husband came out of the court jumping,dancing, singing
His friend asked him why he was so happy. He replied "Court has said to pay my wife half of my salary."
Friend asked "Why are you happy?"
He said "From now on I can have half of my salary."
http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/01/valentine-day-sms-for-whatsapp-and_22.html
Barbara Walters was doing a story on gender roles in Afghanistan
She noted that women customarily walked 10 feet behind their husbands
Impressed she approached one of the Afghani women and said,
"This is marvellous! What a nice gesture of respect to a husband.
Is there any specific reason to this custom?"
The lady whispered, "Land Mines"
http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/01/valentine-day-pics-and-dp-for-whatsapp.html
Wife drinking Vodka, 
asked
"Tum kaun ho?"

Husband- 
"Pagal ho gayi ho kya? 
Apne husband ko bhool gayi? " 

Wife: "Nasha 
har gum bhula deta hai"
"Bhaisaab"..!!

 Teacher :
тАЬCan you tell the name of 2 great Kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives ?тАЭ

Student :
тАЬSmo-king & Drin-king тАЭ !!!

Teacher Resigned !
http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/01/valentine-day-messages-for-whatsapp-and.html

Ghor Kalyug!!
Teacher: Who was Akbar ?  
Boy: Akbar was Gay. 
Teacher:- What, Are you mad ? Why did you say that? 
Boy:- We have heard  Laila - Majnu , Heer -Ranjha , Soni- Mahival ,Romeo-Juliet  
But Only 
Akbar - Birbal !
Teacher died
Ultimate Hit!!
Train mai Warning likhi thi......." Bina Ticket Safar karne wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar!!!!!!.. "
Sardar- Waah ji Waah..,
Aur humne ticket li to Hum Bewakoof???
BABA Ramdev Kehte Hai, "Achhi Sehat K Liye Saas Par Control Kare"
Ab Baba Ko Kon Samajhaye Ki,
Logo Se Biwi Control Nahi Hoti To Saas Par kaise  Control Kare.


Jethalal- aare daya, raat ko Mobile charging me mat rakho, Blast ho jayega,
Daya- tapu ke papa, Aap tension mat lijiye maine battery nikal di he. 

Who was the 1st INDIAN to use 4G.
Ans: It's Anil kapoor.! aG ,oG, lo G, suno G.

Mayawati came 2 Lalu's house with an elephant,
Lalu- bhaiswa ke sath aaye ho?
Mayawati- dikhta nahi elephantwa hai.
Lalu- dhutt pagli, hum elephantwa se puch raha hu.

Shaadi me Sardar ne plate pe tissue paper dekh k socha ye bhi khane wali chez hai. Jaise hi wo khane laga, to Sab Sardar Chillaye "Oye Mat Kha, Feeka hai"

TEACHER: Wo Kaun Sa Department He Jisme Aurat Kaam Nahi Kar Sakti?
STUDENT: Fire Brigade.
TEACHER: Wo Q?
STUDENT: Aurato Ka Kaam AAG Lagana Hai, Bujhana Nahi !!!!!

http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/01/rose-day-sms-and-messages-for-facebook.html
Girl:Nice mobile, Where did u buy?
Boy:I won dis in a running race !
Girl:How many persons participated?
Boy:MOBILE OWNER, POLICE & ME. 

Teacher: can you define who is a Lecturer?
Student: Lecturer is a person Who has a very bad habit of Speaking when someone is sleeping                                            

          Whatsapp And Facebook Jokes In Hindi            

рд▓рдбрд╝рдХреА тАУ рдХреНрдпрд╛ рдХрд░ рд░рд╣реЗ рд╣реЛ?
рд▓рдбрд╝рдХрд╛ тАУ рдореВрдВрдЧрдлрд▓реА рдЦрд╛ рд░рд╣рд╛ рд╣реВрдБред
рд▓рдбрд╝рдХреА тАУ Haww! рдЕрдХреЗрд▓реЗ рдЕрдХреЗрд▓реЗ,
рд▓рдбрд╝рдХрд╛ тАУ рдЕрдм 10 рд░реВрдкрдпреЗ рдХреА рдореВрдВрдЧрдлрд▓реА рдореЗрдВ рднрдгреНрдбрд╛рд░рд╛ рдХрд░реВ рдХреНрдпрд╛тАж.!!

http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/02/whatsapp-facebook-status.html

рд╕рдВрддрд╛: рддреЗрд░рд╛ рднрд╛рдИ рдЖрдЬрдХрд▓ рдХреНрдпрд╛ рдХрд░ рд░рд╣рд╛ рд╣реИ?
рдмрдВрддрд╛: рдПрдХ рджреБрдХрд╛рди рдЦреЛрд▓реА рдереА, рдкрд░ рдЕрдм рдЬреЗрд▓ рдореЗрдВ рд╣реИ!
рд╕рдВрддрд╛: рд╡реЛ рдХреНрдпреЛрдВ?
рдмрдВрддрд╛: рджреБрдХрд╛рди рд╣рдереЛрдбрд╝реЗ рд╕реЗ рдЦреЛрд▓реА рдереА!

рдЧрд░реНрд▓рдлреНрд░реЗрдВрдб: рдореИрдВ рдЕрдкрдирд╛ рдкрд░реНрд╕ рдШрд░ рдкрд░ рднреВрд▓ рдЖрдИ, рдореБрдЭреЗ 1000
рд░реБрдкрдпреЗ рдХреА рдЬрд░реВрд░рдд рд╣реИред
рдмреЙрдпрдлреНрд░реЗрдВрдб: рдХрд░ рджреА рди рдЫреЛрдЯреА рдмрд╛рдд,
рдкрдЧрд▓реА рдпрд╣ рд▓реЗтАжтАж 10 рд░реБрдкрдпреЗред
рдЕрднреА рд░рд┐рдХреНрд╢рд╛ рдХрд░рдХреЗ рдШрд░ рдЬрд╛
рдФрд░ рдкрд░реНрд╕ рд▓реЗ рдЖред
рдЧрд░реНрд▓рдлреНрд░реЗрдВрдб рдмреЗрд╣реЛрд╢           
рдПрдХ рдкрд╛рдХрд┐рд╕реНрддрд╛рдиреА рд▓рдбрд╝рдХреЗ рдиреЗ рдЕрдореЗрд░рд┐рдХрди рд╕реНрдХреВрд▓ рдореЗрдВ рдПрдбрдорд┐рд╢рди рд▓рд┐рдпрд╛ред
рдЯреАрдЪрд░: рддреБрдореНрд╣рд╛рд░рд╛ рдирд╛рдо рдХреНрдпрд╛ рд╣реИ?
рд▓рдбрд╝рдХрд╛: рдЕрд╣рдорджред
рдЯреАрдЪрд░: рдЕрдм рддреБрдо рдЕрдореЗрд░рд┐рдХрд╛ рдореЗрдВ рд╣реЛ, рдЗрд╕рд▓рд┐рдП рдЖрдЬ рд╕реЗ рддреБрдореНрд╣рд╛рд░рд╛ рдирд╛рдо рдЬреЙрди рд╣реИред
рд▓рдбрд╝рдХрд╛ рдШрд░ рдкрд╣реБрдВрдЪрд╛ред
рдорд╛рдВ: рдкрд╣рд▓рд╛ рджрд┐рди рдХреИрд╕рд╛ рд░рд╣рд╛ рдЕрд╣рдордж?
рд▓рдбрд╝рдХрд╛: рдореИрдВ рдЕрдм рдЕрдореЗрд░рд┐рдХрди рд╣реВрдВ рдФрд░ рдЖрдЧреЗ рд╕реЗ рдореБрдЭреЗ рдЬреЙрди рдХрд╣рдХрд░ рдкреБрдХрд╛рд░рдирд╛ред
рдорд╛рдВ рдФрд░ рдкрд╛рдкрд╛ рдиреЗ рдпрд╣ рд╕реБрдирддреЗ рд╣реА рдЙрд╕рдХреА рдЬрдордХрд░ рдзреБрдирд╛рдИ рдХрд░ рджреАред
рд╢рд░реАрд░ рдкрд░ рдЪреЛрдЯ рдХреЗ рдирд┐рд╢рд╛рди рд▓рд┐рдП рдЕрдЧрд▓реЗ рджрд┐рди рд╡рд╣ рд╕реНрдХреВрд▓ рдкрд╣реБрдВрдЪрд╛ред
рдЯреАрдЪрд░: рдХреНрдпрд╛ рд╣реБрдЖ рдЬреЙрди?
рд▓рдбрд╝рдХрд╛: рдореЗрд░реЗ рдЕрдореЗрд░рд┐рдХрди рдмрдирдиреЗ рдХреЗ 4 рдШрдВрдЯреЗ рдмрд╛рдж рд╣реА рдореБрдЭ рдкрд░ 2 рдкрд╛рдХрд┐рд╕реНрддрд╛рдирд┐рдпреЛрдВ рдиреЗ рд╣рдорд▓рд╛ рдХрд░ рджрд┐рдпрд╛ред
Sir: Birbal Kon Tha?
Student : Pta Nahi.
Sir: Padhai Pe Dhyan Do to Pta Chale.
Student: Raj,Sunny,Bunty, Kon Hain?
Sir: Pta Nhi.
Student: Beti Pe Dhyan Do to Pta Chale..
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